Behind The Times But Catching Up

Once again concerned for my health, my mother sent me a candle plate. Someone on Dateline, 20/20, or Oprah says that burning candles is bad for you. They should instead be warmed on a special warming plate. Okay by me - it's kind of cool anyway. So I am taking my candle plate out of the box and find a nicely bubble wrapped package on the bottom. I rip it open to discover a Palm Pilot. My sweet father sent it to me. Now I know that everyone else is so cool that they have blackberries and blueberries (sounds like a smoothie), but I think it is cool either way. I spent most of the afternoon playing the games on it. It is amazing how smart and successful you look while peering at a handheld device even though you are only wasting time. Boring teleconferences just got fun again.

Couldn't Think of Anything

Right before lunch our practice group manager sent me a pretty little email asking me to prepare a patent claims chart and proof the claims. I responded that I would be happy to work on it, and inquired as to his expected due date. He sent back an email stating that he would like it done ASAP, by close of business. Wow. So I step right to it. To my horror the patent has 119 claims, not counting individual claims. gasp

Okay, maybe doing the claims chart between lunch and the close of business was on the brink of possibility. But proofing it too?! In contrast, I have a 47 claim patent that I have been proofing for 1 week, and I am not done yet. Granted, I am not focusing every ounce of my attention on that one, but you get the comparison. It is times like this that I am glad that I have extended a helping hand to many people within the firm. I called everyone that could possibly help me. 4 of us amazingly got it all done and put together. Note to ANYONE that manages another's work load : BE REALISTIC.


I realize that it is completely lame to blog about work, but come on, I have NOTHING else of interest going on right now. So it is either work, random beverages, or nothing.

Living Alone is a Piece of Cake (not Pie)

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy the company of real humans, but I also enjoy living alone. I enjoy living alone so much that I am afraid that, when I do get married, instead of a functional "city home" and a relaxing "summer home" we are going to have to purchase matching "his and her" homes. (I am seriously not that bad) I have had roommates, but I think it best for now to not impose my impossible personality on anyone not required by law to abide with me.

So I was sitting (alone) in my living room on Monday morning in my usual spot reading my morning devotion. Something in the passage that I was reading really caught my attention and I decided to read it out. Can you believe that I hear my own voice so infrequently that I scared myself? I literally jumped when I heard my own voice read the passage out loud. Is that crazy or what?
I also find myself increasingly frustrated with the rest of the world for not being able to read my mind and know exactly what it is that I am thinking. I seem to do it just fine, what is wrong with everyone else?

Tax Returns

Usually I don't have to question what to do with my tax return. Normally before Jan 1 rolls around I know what I want to apply my refund towards. This year I wanted to be creative and do something really memorable with it. But what to do? huuuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmm.

To go along with my Teeccino:

I Am A Cream Pie (say it out loud 50 times, it sounds funny)

I am the perfect combo of simplicity and divinity. Those who are like me live for understated pleasures.

What Kind of Pie Are You?

Starbucks: Nostalgic Value Only

My dear mother has always taken it upon herself to look out for my health. That is what mothers do. She was not to happy when, upon studying for my first law school final, I started to drink coffee. I was never too fond of it before but it soon became a necessity- you know what I mean. Now that I am not regularly studying I don't NEED the coffee, but I still like an occassional fix- with or without caffeine.

I don't own a coffee maker but I do know the business hours of every Starbucks on the routes from home to work, home to church, work to church, work to the courthouse, work to Macy's (lol), you get the point. So my mother has been diligently searching for a substitute to my coffee addiction. I would like to unveil the only comparable substitute:

Teeccino folks.

It is herbal coffee. Whatever that is. Supposedly has NO-CAFFIENE, which is different than DECAF. I am using enough of my brain cells, today, to actually understand that concept. Anyway, it is pretty good stuff in my opinion. Don't ask me why I felt compelled to blog about it...I just did.
LEAVE ME ALONE {stomps out of the room}

For those who asked....

HIM

Irvin Mayfield and the New Orleans Jazz Orchestra

Last night I went up to the city to see Irvin Mayfield and the New Orleans Jazz Orchestra. WOW!
I am a Jazz lover to begin with, but he is awesome. I have never been to one of his live concerts, so this was a real treat...and in my favorite city no less.
For those of you not into jazz (yet) I will elaborate. He is a young trumpet player who supposedly is a former Wynton Marsalis protégé. What is so amazing about him is his unique ability to mix various types of music into wonderful pieces. His specialty is a mix of classic, classic jazz and progressive jazz. I LOVE HIM.
It was such a wonderful afternoon- weather wise. But later in the evening it got really windy. I wanted to also go walk across the bridge (something I haven't had time to do recently) but it was closed to pedestrian traffic due to high winds. Which is probably best, no sense in getting blown into the Bay just for a view. But it IS a great view.

That is what I did for Valentines Day. Thankfully there were no mishaps, no one got arrested (no one that I know), nothing particularly newsworthy. I know that you are all disappointed, but I am really trying to live a semi-normal life. That is the goal for 2006....stay out of trouble and out of the news. One of my local friends use to be astonished at the stories that I would tell her, and then she started hanging out with me and got to experience them for herself! She started to post some of the crazy things that happened to her when she was with me. I don't know if I am touched or offended- an entire blog dedicated to my mishaps....hummm. I will find the link to her page and post it. Kind of funny. Truth really is stranger then fiction if you are anywhere near me....I am a magnet for trouble! I am getting too old for this.

The Condition of Our World

One of my old co-works had a baby shower this past weekend. I have not seen her in over a year and was very excited to spend time with her. The shower was fun- the guests were questionable. I was amazed and saddened by the people in attendance.

The level of vulgarity was surprising. I mean honestly, it is a baby shower! How many topics of discussion, appropriate for a baby shower, do you suppose require such language? Maybe I am from a different planet, but I can't think of any. I realize that some readers are accustom to what has become "acceptable language"- I am talking way above the realm of such language, and women no less.

One lady in attendance admitted to having an extramarital relationship with another lady's husband. I later found out that the other lady was on her way to the party (and did later arrive). All the while there were two young ladies in attendance following the entire conversation (11-13 years old). What is wrong with people!?

Also in attendance was a witch. Instead of buying something off of the baby registry she brought a contraption wrapped in a plastic bag. It was a glued mess of sticks, fur (?), some kind of hair, metallic paper and paint. She insisted that it not be allowed to come into contact with any surface except plastic (hence the bag). The mother-to-be was obviously not familiar with its origins nor its intended use and asked about both. The giver insisted that it was some special item with powers (the nature of which was not indicated) and that it would all be revealed later that night. She said "just wait until tonight and you will see, you will love it". The mother-to-be sincerely indicated that she would enjoy it, and thanked the giver profusely.

An additional attendant was a very flamboyant (and obviously homosexual) man. He was the only male at the gathering, which is traditionally reserved for females. Now I don't plan on getting into a "comment war" over this, but I believe that a homosexual lifestyle is one of open sin. That said, I believe that it is just that, a life of sin. I don't believe that God ranks sin, it is just all sin. Whether it is a life lived in disobedience or open sexuality. I do believe that some of the earthly consequences of sin vary, depending on the type of sin. But in the end the consequence of living an unrepented life of sin is all the same - separation from God. But I am not posting to discuss theology or to criticize. It was just a reminder to me of the condition to this world. It is sad to see so many people seeking various activities and lifestyles just wanting to find some peace and fulfillment, and finding none. What a wake-up call for us Christians. There are people everywhere that are just waiting to hear the Truth of the saving grace of our Lord. I know that a lot of us are really out there doing stuff, supporting and building the Kingdom. There are just so many people out there....lost and wandering. So sad.

Praise God for His saving grace.

Big Firm Gossip

I was just up for a promotion a few weeks ago.... and by the grace of God I got it. With this promotion came, among other things, a new office. The office is smaller than my old office, but the advantage is that I am two doors down from the practice group managing partner, definitely a good move. Then suddenly a member of the practice group left for greener pastures. The hiring committee did several outside interviews but could not find the right person to replace our departed team member. They decided to look internally and their focus landed on me, which surprised me because my job description just recently changed with the promotion. The ink hasn't even dried on my new name plate.
I really do love my job (just ignore my moaning and groaning). The hours are sometimes a bit rough, but workable. There are times when I have about 75% of my advised work load and I pick up projects from other people in my practice group. But usually I am working at least at 100%. So when they approached me I wasn't all that thrilled about it. They wanted me to maintain my current work load and ADD the slack from the person that left. Certainly they were offering great compensation, but goodness gracious!
Anyway, they did more interviewing and came to the conclusion that there was no way that they wanted anyone except me. (Sometime it is nice to be loved, other times it isn't) I negotiated the terms that I was willing to accept and finally got them to agree that it was reasonable. So that being said, the committee decided to take the entire deal into consideration. I haven't heard anything from them yet. So yesterday the practice group manager's secretary walks into my office with a stack of stuff. She says "this should be helpful with [assignments associated with the new position]" I was puzzled but took the files anyway. Today, other people start coming in with requests, assistance, docket reports and files related to the new position. Someone even thanked me for taking the position. Okay, is there something wrong with this picture?! Have you ever been hired before you were hired? Why is it that everyone in the firm seems to know that I have this new position before I have even heard confirmation of it? All I have to say is that the changes had best be reflected on my paycheck come next week. So congratulations are in order - the message of course sent through the grapevine- I guess.

Leisurely Reading

I am always amazed and in awe (and a tidbit jealous) of those people who are able to read real books on a regular basis. Real books would be those that are not found on a mandatory school curriculum, not published by anyone affiliated with the ABA, nor found on a Bible study list. Don't get me wrong, many books that fall into the previous categories are not only useful but very enjoyable. My point is, where do you get time to walk into a bookstore, or library for those of us on tight budgets, pick a book and actually read it?! If someone knows of a place that sells time please let me know because I want some. ....I take it back. If I had more time I would just fill it with more work. My 1/2 of the first quarter of the new year resolution, is to find the time that I lost somewhere and put it to use reading some good books. Actually, I will settle for just one good book these days. I guess I could cut down on some of the time I spend on my new hobby. Which reminds me I have yet to blog about it!! Here goes:

My new hobby is day trading. I love love love it. I mean I have always had some type of investment, but most of them required little input from me besides my periodic contribution of funds. With day trading I am completely involved. Granted, there are probably tons of other ways to be more involved without being so volatile, but that's no fun! So I called around a got tips from people that do this for a living. I subscribed to a few e-magazines and started reading my Black Enterprise magazine for more reasons then the annual "Most Eligible Bachelor" article. A few hundred dollars later I am hooked. I totally love the adventure of it all. I am surprised at how good I am doing. I think that I better keep my day job (and my evening job), but it is a great hobby.

Insanity Is a State of Clarity

Slightly gloomy but nonetheless thought-provoking piece of literary art for you to ponder:

Insanity

Humanity is a distraction to me. Not merely because people are shallow and fail to ever contemplate existential matters, but because they are easily led to slaughter by whims of articulated emotion. Do I pity the masses, or begrudge their ignorance? And even in thinking such thoughts my heart is panged beyond description - how lofty and pious! What has happened to my mandate to love? How can I even begin to love an entity that seems so distant and distasteful? Granted, my own character is different than most people around me, and yet so indistinguishable intertwined that I AM what I have mentally rejected! Do I betray myself by being with them? Do I really seek the solitude necessary to rid myself of distractions? And what exactly is this fleeting goal that I am being distracted from? The inner workings are so confusing.
That is the problem; it is the association with people that has caused the storm within. Before my own betrayal there was peace, mental clarity, and content solitude. Is there a "point of no return"? Can I never return to a state of elation? How I use to enjoy those silent moments within. Have I become dependent and addicted to fellowship with my earthly companions? Have I too been lured into the pit of forbidden ecstasy? And yet, while standing in the midst of the multitude, I remain still so different. Others seem to be in ignorant bliss over the state of affairs. Or maybe it is not ignorant bliss but clarity of thought, wherein one realizes the hopelessness of the situation and feigns ignorance as a coping mechanism. Such a morbid view my eyes seem intent on seeing. Am I the one to be pitied for my heightened sensitivity to the inevitable state of man? Did the trillion brain impulses somehow get jolted into a quilt devoid of value? Why do I live with so much confusion?

Some days there are breaks in the clouds, but even those scare me. The breaks where I can glimpse the future spread out in front of me; I like those. It gives me hope to see that maybe, even if just a mirage, there is something pure and simple, controlled and completely incomprehensible. But it is the other times, the more frequent breaks, which serve to stir the very foundation that I try to stand on. It is at these times when the confusion clears and I see unobstructed decay. It is like I see the worthlessness of my life, without the soft padding of grace. I see the hopeless sin in my life and realize the gap between me and my Maker is a span humanly impossible to climb. It is moments like these that I see my shame and I hear the taunts. Had those voices been there the whole time? The worst part about it is that they speak truth. If falsity was littered on the horizon I could easily shoot a mocking grin and dive back into my underworld of confusion. But that is not the case, not nearly the case. Their accusations hold truth, lined with cruel magnificence. I would be in awe at the blunt accuracy and art-like presentation if the subject was not I and the wounds cutting so deep. Those are the low moments when I beg for relief. Usually my scream is only inside, and my tears confined to a private darkness. But occasionally the pressure builds to such a degree that my generous fortification is momentarily breached. This is when my world seems to collide with the outside world around me. Very few people actually notice the breach, but to me it is a gaping hole. In my effort to perform damage control I often have a head on collision with those around who I am sure just want to help. But how can they help me put the structure back together when they don't even understand the complex material that the wall is made out of?! I suspect that some don't even want to help with the repairs, but think it best that a total destruction take place. A glass house I will not dwell in. Every weakness viewed by the public is a semi-permanent splinter the tweezers to which I have not found.

I did gleefully encounter a kindred spirit. But, alas, I think it a ploy to open my gates. And if I let him in to share my very thoughts will he think me insane? I have tested the waters and he has shown himself faithful. But what happens when I allow myself to relax and become dependent on his understanding? He too is human and will one day disappoint. Why do I seem so unwilling to even contemplate true fellowship with someone who can really understand me? I know the utter ridiculous nature of my thoughts, and even that realization causes me great distress. I am merely human, and yet I can not live with that frailty. Why? What is so wrong about it?
There are always conflicting goals within my head. The classic right and wrong would be a welcomed stage. Unfortunately, my mind holds the complex cousin to the classic simpleton. There are countless manners of "right", each of which holds its own rewards and consequences. Some of them are evidently strong influences from those around me, those I really love and trust. It would seem an easy task to choose among the "right" to find that way that closely fits my own desires. But it is my life we are talking about, and the complexities abound, admittedly only within the confines of my cranium. Somewhere along the way I lost myself. My desires become so misconstrued and conforming to logic that they ceased to exist. I found that logic can not define desire. Desire will not be confined by the definition of logic. So the two compete for ship captain, and long ago logic secured the spot. So I suppose desire endures...Somewhere. Perhaps in a long forgotten barracks? One only knows. No more, I can't do this anymore. I will find contentment on my pirated ship. This civil war has taken its toll and resources from both sides have been exhausted. I have tried to abandon ship and planned my escape route several times. Yet I find myself nailed to the galley, which is my cross to bear.

Babies, Kittens and an Old Maid...(not the game)

I adopted a little kitten. He is the cutest little thing. All of two weeks old. Of course I can't take him away from his mother yet, so I just have visitation rights for the next few weeks. I hope it doesn't turn into an ugly custody battle - I hate Family Court.
I used to work for a SP that did exclusively family law. The practice itself is okay, assuming you want to handle the drama and inevitable heartbreak. Family court is another issue. If you have ever participated in real court proceedings you are in for a shock when you walk into Family Court. It is literally a zoo, with rules so obscure that they purposely don't write them down to entertain themselves. If you have a hearing in the morning you might as well cancel your dinner plans. But that is completely off topic, how did I get here anyway? Oh yeah, I was telling you about my new little kitty. I haven't named him yet - any suggestions? He is gray & black tiger stripped. Tigger in grayscale.
My mother was completely appalled by the fact that I was getting a cat. Her response was, "shouldn't you get married instead?" WHAT?! I fail to see how those are linked. She believes that I am going to end up the local old maid, in a rundown shanty at the end of town, living with 50 cats. I will finally have my claim to fame when one of my heroic cats somehow manages to save my life in a miraculous scenario. When it comes to more grandkids (she has 5 already!!!) my mother certainly lacks the virtue of patience. Speaking of the little ones, I will have to post some pictures.

Aren't they cute?! They look just like me. Three are my older brother's, two are my younger brother's. So cute!

ELLA DICE

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Me gusta gatos y bebés, pero todos en la misma casa no es bueno.

Even the Red Cross thinks I am hazardous!

The other day I was at home reading up on my new hobby (more on that later) when I heard an unexpected knock at the door. My apartment is artistically decorated* in such a way as to force one to take a designated path to the doorway. Any attempt to use a non-designated pathway can be detrimental. I was feeling adventurous and decided to defy logic. Needless to say, by the time I arrived at the door I was limping in pain and thinking up new ways to "re-decorate". At the door were two hyper college students. The young lady seemed to have an affinity to the word "like" misplacing it like after like every like word like. The young man obviously had a scissor phobia, refusing to allow a pair to come in contact with his un-kept hair. They said that they were from local Red Cross and wanted to go over some fire safety tips with people in the area.

Apparently some poor soul in the apartment complex had recently managed to burn his unit to the ground, taking 6 other units with it...and tragically his own life. I took their little gift bag and listened to some general suggestions on fire prevention. While one of them distracted my attention the other one peered past the door frame and into my living room. He quickly interrupted his companion and insisted on commenting on my decorating style, informing me that my "Mountain of Law" sculpture (see definition of "artistically decorated" below) was not only an eyesore, it was also a fire hazard. I wanted to yell at him "What do you know? Your hair is so long that it hangs in front of your eyes making YOU a walking hazard!" I refrained, politely smiled and used every last ounce of self-restraint to gently close the door. I like my obstacle course; it thwarts trespassers.
This morning I purchased several floor to ceiling book shelves, after all, burning to death in the name of "art" is not exactly my style.

* By way of definition, "artistically decorated" describes the crafty way in which I deposited the 3 DOZEN boxes containing my California Practice guides into my living room.

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Ella Dice:

Un lugar nuevo para mi praticar mi espanol

Estoy muy ocupado con varios cosas. Todas las cosas son importante pero no tengo tiempo suficiente para todo. El problema resuelve: no hago nada.

BackBlogging?

I admit that is was probably a bad idea from me to stop blogging in the first place, but BackBlogging!? Isn't that a bit extreme?

After facing severe peer pressure, social rejection and outright humiliation I have decided to resurrect my blog. Technically "resurrect" is an incorrect term. I could not remember my original blog information and had to start anew. The prospect of never again having to verbally repeat my life story 15 times in 2 hours was enough to get me typing.

Nonetheless, in announcing my decision to once again become a blogger, I was confronted with the theory of backblogging. Supposedly the Blogging Rules of Ethics require that I not only religiously blog from this point forward, but I also dedicate the first few blogs to summarizing the last year of my life for my faithful readers. My saving grace is that I have no faithful readers! So does that mean that I don't have to worry about backblogging? I hope so, but just in case: I am alive, I am well, I am happy. That is probably all that need be said.